Review by Rebecca Lynne of Bad Love, Presented by H.E.L.L.A Productions

Emm Watkins’ tragically beautiful cabaret tells the story of how she fell in love with and eventually left an abusive partner, told with the deeply stirring music she created while healing. She gracefully narrates her experience overcoming the double-edged struggle of loving someone who hurts you. Central to the piece are the beautifully haunting songs she created during her healing process.

Performed in an enclosed space at The Junk Bar, this intimate piece is staged like a peak into Emm’s private world. The set design is reminiscent of a teenage girl’s bedroom – cluttered, clothes strewn about, iconic feminine album posters on display (like Florence & The Machine and Tori Amos), and a sewing mannequin standing bare and forgotten. The preshow begins with Emm, centre stage, facing away with her headphones on. She’s lounging on the floor in a floaty and floral red haori with her hair tied up, minding her own business. It’s as if we’ve walked in to find Emm in the middle of organising her world while listening to music. The preshow music fades out and the Musical Director, Helen Rae Glindemann, takes the stage for the welcome to country before introducing the performer and her story.

There is already an air of gravitas, being that this performance is based on true events recounted from Watkins’ life. Glindemann explains that should an audience member be triggered, there is a domestic violence counsellor in the room, digital resources, and the freedom to step out for a breather at any time. As Watkins later eloquently points out, unfortunately, not everyone gets a chance to seek help, so it was wonderful to see such importance given to providing easy access to support.

When her performance begins, Watkins stands and the audience freezes. Her haori falls open to reveal a stunning a red sequined dress. Just as the piece is staged like a living room, Watkins seems very at home in the space. With her sunshine face beaming out to the audience, hearing her recount her painful past with an unwavering voice and soulful singing, Emm Watkins is a powerful presence on stage. She stands tall, yet comfortable, moving about her space with ease as she elegantly guides the audience through her story. Honestly, her tangible warmth and effervescence truly made her story all the more moving. A beautiful soul, even after going through such torment.

Watkins begins the piece by reflecting on how it’s hard to let go of things, even when they’re broken. She steps on a Tori Amos CD case and goes to place it in a bin on stage, but she can’t. She says those songs saved her life, so instead she gives the case to an audience member. This moment was a lovely reference to how this once broken woman doesn’t belong in the trash either and is now sharing her own life-giving music.

The use of the trash basket throughout was a clever element to the performance. By pulling items out of the trash as props to tell her story, only to throw them away again afterwards was an amusing and liberating touch. After exploring those moments from her past, she symbolically releases those moments by throwing out the associated item. In particular, a moment of triumph comes near the end when Watkins throws out a love letter he wrote to her out of desperation. It was liberating watching her let go, placing the letter firmly in the trash can where it, and him, belongs.

The performance was a poignant display of how dreadfully different a romance can be behind closed doors. Watkins’ story tugged at the heartstrings, eloquently describing the all-too-common highs and lows of an abusive relationship. She spoke of the kindness he showed her on their travels – reading to her, peeling her mandarins. Watkins highlights the difficulty of leaving toxic people. Reflecting on how happy and put together couples seem on the outside, and the struggle when no one can imagine someone so kind to be so cruel, she demonstrates how even those being abused can end up denying it too.

Watkins tells the story of how her 9-month story-book romance transformed into 6 years of abuse. Using a Northern UK accent, she repeats the cutting words spoken by her ex-husband. She recounts how wonderfully kind he was throughout their courtship and 10-week engagement, never even kissing her because he wanted to control himself; only to turn on her with that same obsession with control after marriage. Everything she did or didn’t do was critiqued and unfairly labelled as “unfaithful”. From her career, to her housework, from her words to her bodily functions as reasons why she supposedly wasn’t being a good wife. Using a toilet roll as a megaphone to voice the words he threw at her, referring to his issues with her bowel movements whilst also highlighting his treatment as shitty, was a light-hearted touch to the otherwise heavy scene.

It was hard to believe that this was Watkins’ first foray in the performing arts. Stated in both the preface and in the program, she had no writing, performing, producing, and/or designing experience beforehand, and apparently was not musically trained. And yet, the entire performance was wildly enchanting. Reminiscent of the haunting vocals of Florence Welch, Kate Miller-Heidke, or her beloved Tori Amos, Watkins’ singing is soulful and heart wrenching. At times sending tingles down my spine or a tear to my eye, her songs are deeply affecting, pulling at the heartstrings with the raw sincerity of her voice. A particularly poignant moment came when Watkins punched out a beat with a closed fist hitting against her open hand whilst singing of the abuse she endured. Opposite to that, her final song on freedom was magical, with her Musical Director (Helen Rae Glindemann) and Stage Manager (Courtney Farrar) joining in with harmonies. With her powerful and unquivering voice matched with such emotional lyrics, Watkins has a tangible strength with her vulnerability.

Creating this music was clearly fundamental to Watkins’ healing process. Producing and performing the show for her friends and family, finally sharing her story, must have been wonderfully cathartic. However, I wonder and worry of any lasting effects this may cause. To go through the emotions of acting out her story and singing her heartbreak again and again… They say method acting can be dangerous, and I imagine acting out one’s own story has the potential to be even more so. At the end of the piece, she thanked the audience for being here, her voice catching when mentioning her family in attendance. I genuinely appreciated having the chance to attend, as this is clearly still a very emotionally charged and personal piece for her. Although I leave this as a highly positive review, and hope she does another season so more people have a chance to see it, it would also be more than understandable if she never performs this story again. However, Watkins should seriously consider producing and releasing her music. She may have said that “no one buys CDs anymore”, but I would certainly buy hers.

Verdict: Emm Watkins’ one-woman cabaret is a heartbreaking and raw display of the emotional scars left behind after escaping a toxic relationship.

Audience Info: PREMIER SEASON SOLD OUT. If you have tickets, you’re in for a powerful show. If you missed out, follow Emm Watkins on her socials and pray she has the fortitude to renew this show beyond the festival. The show centers around the lasting effects of verbal abuse, so audience discretion is advised. A counsellor from DVConnect is available for support, and QR codes are displayed to access further support digitally. Audiences are also free to leave the space for a breather if need be. The show takes place in a private enclosed area inside The Junk Bar. I recommend sitting on the lefthand side away from the windows, as most of the performance is directed to this area. Arrive early or stay late to enjoy the vibe of this trendy bar spot and to try their special cocktail for the show, “The Tori Amos”. It’s a red twist on a mojito, delightfully sweetened with cranberry and peach schnapps. The toilets are located past the bar, go outside and to the right. There’s a step to get inside and two doors to get to the performance space. Reach out to the production or bar staff prior to attendance for further accessibility info.

Tickets here! (season sold out)

When: 6 – 20 May 2022
Where: The Junk Bar – 215 Waterworks Road, Cnr Ashgrove Avenue, Ashgrove, Brisbane, QLD 4060
Cost: $30 per person (PREMIERE SEASON OLD OUT)